Rhoda Halsey at Home

by Dorothy Tennov

Characters: Rhoda Halsey, deceased mother of Mary, age 84; Mary Bowers,

daughter of Rhoda, late 50s; Ann Fletcher, daughter of Mary, late 20s; a

nurse's aide, age 25-60; and Ella Williams, roommate of Rhoda, age 86

Setting: The action takes place in the room occupied by Ellen, and

formerly occupied by Rhoda, at the Living Manor Nursing Home. Mary and

Ann arrive to remove Rhoda’s belongings. She had died two days earlier.

The stage is divided into three areas: To the left is the image of Rhoda

Halsey in a wheelchair. She speaks the words of the notes the women find

among her things. To the left is Ella Williams, her roommate, also in a

wheelchair.

Mary and Ann stand around a bed empty except for articles of clothing,

and a few other personal item. The bed is off center and at an angle,

closer to Ella than to Rhoda.

Except when Rhoda is speaking, the lights are on Mary and Ann, but the

two older women, Ella and Rhoda, remain on stage throughout. When she is

not speaking, Rhoda Halsey sits motionless, head bowed, in her

wheelchair. Ella sometimes struggles against her restraint. At other

times, she is still, in a posture similar to that of Rhoda.

As the curtain rises, Ann and Mary enter the room from Ella's side

carrying two suitcases. A nurse’s aide is stuffing clothes from the bed

into a large plastic bag. At first, Mary and Ann’s attention is drawn to

Ella, who is speaking.

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ELLA: My husband is coming to get me today. I will wear my pretty blue

dress, the one I wore back then. Where did we go? I'm coming, dear.

Don't push me. Don't do it. Where is that woman? I didn't have anything

to eat today. Where's my blue dress? Where's my green one? Come on,

let's go.

AIDE: (continuing to put articles of clothing from the drawers of a

dresser into the bag) Don't mind Ella. She's okay. Sometimes she doesn't

know where she is.

MARY: (politely to Ella, ignoring the aide at first) Hello, Mrs.

Williams, how are you today? (to aide) What are you doing? Are you

throwing those things out?

AIDE: Oh no, it's just that we have to clear the room and I didn't know

you'd be here. We always use these bags.

ANN: Garbage bags?

MARY: We came to get Mrs. Halsey's things. Didn't they tell you?

AIDE: (taking items of clothing from the bag and laying them on the

bed) Sorry, I was just told we need the room and to get it ready. If

you're going to use those suitcases you won't need the bags.

MARY: No, we won't need the trash bags for my mother's things. I don't

remember you. Are you new here?

AIDE: I've been at Living Manor for two months but I was in another

section.

MARY: Did you take care of my mother?

AIDE: Rhoda? I mean Mrs. Halsey? Yes, a few times. Do you need help?

MARY: No, don't worry about us. We'll manage.

AIDE: Okay then, I'll come back later. (She leaves with the garbage

bags.)

ELLA: I heard that. I know who you are. Who are they? When Harold comes,

he'll show you a thing or two. All of you. (pointing) That's where Rhoda

lives, lived, lives, lived. Can you take me . . .

AIDE: All right, Ella. I'll be back. There's an activity this

afternoon. (to Mary and Ann) Just ignore her. (starts to leave then

stops to adjust Ella's bedclothes)

ELLA: . . . to the bathroom.

AIDE: You just went, Ella. In a little while.

ANN: (to Mary) What are we going to do with these things?

MARY: Let's leave most of her clothing here. Maybe other residents can

use her housecoats and slippers. There isn't much really. I think what

we decide to take will fit in the two suitcases.

AIDE: (with some impatience) I don't want to rush you, but we have

someone waiting for the room.

MARY: Some of this is garbage. Some of it are things we can't use. Can

the nursing home use her clothes for other residents?

AIDE: (hurriedly) We'd appreciate it if you'd take as much as you can,

but, yes, we can use the clothes if you don't want them. And the bedroom

slippers. But don't feel obliged. (she leaves)

ANN: (looking at some slippers) I remember when we gave her these. She

seemed appreciative but I don't think they've ever been worn. How long

was she at Living Manor?

MARY: Let's see. You were still in college. I guess it must have been

seven years. It really isn't much accumulation for that long a period.

(pause as they each gather items and place them in two large suitcases

brought for the purpose) Look here, it's her writing.

ANN: Let's see. (reading) Here I am. Living Manor . . ..

RHODA: (the lights turn to Rhoda Halsey at stage right) . . . Living

Manor is where I live. The final repository of the aged and infirm and I

am both of those by God. Life is here. Living is here. Life stopped

here. Dying is . . . next door this week, across the hall last week. Or

maybe someone from the long lost world outside these doors may come

again to call. Maybe tomorrow. I never know. Maybe I don't always

remember if they're coming or whether they came.

Sometimes when they come they bear offerings -- little nice things like

candy and wool sweaters. And after they go I regard the gifts. I eat the

candy greedily. I fold the new sweater and stuff it into the drawer. Or

if my arm is having a hurting day I ask the one who comes in with my

dinner tray to please do it for me. Sometimes she will. Only two hours

until dinner. I take another candy but I put it down again and think

about how nice it was to see them again.

MARY: I wish I could have come more often. There were always so many

things to do. It was hard to get away. I came as much as I could.

ANN: I know, Mom. You did the best you could. You did more than anyone

else.

RHODA: At Christmas and on my birthday, they bring presents.

MARY: On Mother's Day, too. We tried to make it nice for her.

RHODA: Sometimes when my arm is okay I wheel myself down the long hall

and peer into each room as I go. Very slowly. In each room there is a

woman sitting in a chair or lying on a bed. Or two women. Not talking,

The television is always on but they never seem to be watching. The

aides turn them on so they can follow the soap operas as they go from

room to room. Sometimes I see a younger, temporary person in for

rehabilitation. They watch. Or read. But most don't. I used to.

MARY: After she broke her hip, she needed more care than we could give.

We thought at first she would be home in a few weeks. But then she had

that heart attack and her arthritis became so bad that she couldn't walk

. . . I was at work all day. I took her out every week, at first. Then,

when Bill got sick, I couldn't do it alone. Sometimes I tried. It just

got too hard. She never complained, just seemed glad to see us when we

came.

RHODA: I used to play bridge. But there's no one here to play with. I

don't like Bingo. I don't like to cut out paper hats. I don't like to

make cardboard Easter bunnies. Maybe it's okay for the ones who can't

concentrate, but it drives me up a wall. Funny expression. Wish I could

climb a wall.

I like it a little better when Mister Mac comes in and plays songs I

used to know. Some sing along, some hum. I think of the parties we used

to have. Frank loved those old songs. He couldn't sing but he sang real

loud. Usually they play hymns. I didn’t mind that at first, but we've

sung "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Onward Christian Soldiers" ten thousand

times.

ANN: Didn't Uncle Bill bring her a tape recorder with some songs on it?

MARY: Well, actually, he said he would, but I don't think he got to it.

It was around the time he was involved with that bankruptcy scare.

RHODA: They put me here in Living Manor to protect me. It would do me

good, they said. "Living Manor" indeed! What manner of living is this?

My youngest daughter, Mary, lives here in this town. She comes as much

as she can. She's busy. And little Ann . . . Little Ann is big Ann now.

Little Ann and Frank are both gone.

Some of us are aware -- the poor ones are not. Alzheimer's. That's what

I call them. The poor ones. Some are rich, were rich, anyway, have rich

families. Here they are the poorest of the poor. Alzheimer's kills the

mind.

Being here kills the mind. It robs mental capacities. They tell the same

things over and over. And every day as long as they're here they want to

go home. We all want to go home. Some of us know all the time that there

is no more home. Some of us only know it some of the time. Some never

know. The lucky poor.

When they visit, I try to act in the same old way, but I don't think I

succeed. They try to look cheerful and interested but they don't

succeed. I try to think of interesting things to say but that distracted

look they get means they aren't really here even when they are sitting

in my room. They don't hear. They don't listen to an old woman anymore.

The wall of age and disfigurement has risen between us. They're on the

other side. They no longer listen.

Even so, I like it when they come. They put a small dent in the grinding

monotony. I wish I felt I could make it pleasant for them so that they’d

want to come back. But I don't know how to do that here in this place of

sickness and dying. If I sound too grateful or try to get them to delay

their departure, I’ll make them feel guilty for not coming more

frequently. It’s hard for them. It would have been hard for me. This is

not a pleasant place to visit despite the "cheerful" paintings on the

walls and candelabra in the dining room.

The poor ones smell. I'm afraid I smell, too. Someone took my perfume

long ago. How could they listen to an old woman's prattle?

ANN: Did we listen? Mom, she's right. She knew. I didn't always listen.

I was afraid she knew, but I didn't know what to do.

MARY: It was hard. She did repeat, you know. I know she didn't mean to

do it. I didn't want to embarrass her by saying anything.

RHODA: About talking. The aides try. Some try more than others. They

try to be cheerful. They try to get their work done in time. Ten to

bathe before breakfast. The bathing isn't always thorough. Sometimes the

water is cold. I try to imagine I am a baby being bathed by my mother,

but the touch is hard even when the tone of voice says she's trying to

be what I need as much as I'm trying to be what she needs to get

finished in time. It's hard work. I know that. It's hard to do me. How

much harder to bathe a poor screaming, struggling poor one. It's been

diapers for quite a while now. They come in the night to see if I need

to be changed.

ANN: I didn't know.

MARY: Neither did I. I guess she didn't want to tell us. I guess she

wanted us to think of her the way she was.

ANN: When I was a child, grandma seemed like a glamorous person, always

dressed in those beautifully tailored suits she used to wear and always

coming from or going to an important meeting or to her classes. Teachers

are pretty important people to children.

MARY: When Uncle Bill and I were very little, Mother was always at home

in the daytime but she was going to school at night so I remember her

already sitting at her desk in the morning when we left for school. She

didn't start teaching until we were in middle school.

ANN: And she carried on until I was in high school. I remember the big

retirement party they gave her.

MARY: Yes, she was admired. One of her former students called a few

years ago and wanted to visit. I don't know what happened. Mother didn’t

seem to want to talk about it.

RHODA: I can imagine the training the staff must receive. You can tell

what it was from they way they act. They talk down. Some try very hard

not to. I imagine the instructor saying, "Residents deserve to be

treated with respect. This, after all, is their home, and you must do

your utmost at all times to remember that and to make them comfortable

in this home." They act like that's what they were told in class. They

do try. It comes out as baby talk. They talk loudly as if they think you

can't hear. What they are doing is trying to reach across the chasm that

separates us, but there is no bridge.

MARY: She once said to me that she really didn't like a 20-year old

calling her Rhoda. She was called Ms. Halsey by her students.

RHODA: In the beginning I tried to complain, to explain in as

dignified manner as possible about certain problems, about privacy,

about wanting to watch certain programs on TV, about getting prompt help

in a bathroom emergency. Once I raised my voice. I shouted.

Things changed after that. I had acquired the reputation of being

"combative." But I had asked repeatedly for help. They were busy. "As

soon as I can, Rhoda. I didn't forget you dear," as she breezed by. It

was after I fell and hurt my hip. The tape on my bandage was binding

painfully.

ELLA: . . . to the bathroom . . .

MARY: Mother wasn't one to raise her voice. A few years ago there was

a meeting. They called it a "care plan" meeting. The social worker said

something I didn't understand. She used that word. I said it was

impossible, that that was not like my mother. My mother would not

complain without good reason and she certainly wasn't combative! The

head nurse said that families would be surprised at the "acting out"

that goes on, that they see a different person. Even the worst of them

will sometimes act nice in front of family. I said that if she had had

the supervision she needed she would not have fallen. They said she had

a right to fall.

ANN: A right to fall?

MARY (musing): Maybe she tried to tell me . . . I don't know. I guess

she knew that. I never had Mother's gumption. I guess I just thought

they knew what they were doing. They always said she was doing fine . .

. except when there was some medical problem. (Sobbing) They meant she

had a right not to be placed in restraint.

I see now what I didn't understand then, or couldn't let myself believe.

It's Catch-22. The patient has a right, but the staff is insufficient.

RHODA: What's the worst thing about it? Is it the lack of privacy? At

any moment of day or night someone might come in. What makes it most

like a jail? I think it's the roommate. Almost any roommate. (Aside from

Lillian, of course.)

It's the total isolation. It's having no one anymore, no one but these

words on paper. No one to talk to.

About talking. I tried when I first came, but it's a giant pyramid, a

ladder of castes. You can never talk across castes. The poor ones below

can't hear. The aides just above are rushed, overworked, and they are

not my peers. Their interests are in another type of existence. When I

was me, they were my students. Now the student washes my privates and

helps me into my chair.

I am not a teacher to her. I am a duty to perform. Part of that duty is

to act cheerful and positive. They all do their best within their

varying abilities, but life is hard for them. Surely they must sometimes

envy me able to sit all day and be done to instead of doing.

Martha has children at home who need her care. Louise has two jobs. How

wonderful they are to try to treat us as human when their own lives

leave so little room for joy and hope.

We operate in the same space in different worlds not touching, not

daring to touch for the wounds that would open. We speak and cooperate

to get the job done, but we live apart.

I only wish I could close the door against the roommate. I've had

dozens, all different. The best ones were too ill to do more than lie on

their bed. If they were really sick, the aides came in often and I got

better care. But they never lasted long. It wasn't that I disliked them

as people. Some, maybe, but not most. It was just that they were always

there and I could always feel their wishes and dislikes. And I felt so

exposed to them. Except of course for the time with Lillian . . .

MARY: I really didn't know. The nurses seemed so friendly and

interested. I didn't have a lot to do with many of the various

roommates. I tried to be friendly and include them in our conversation.

If I brought food, I always brought some for both. And the staff seemed

so helpful and caring.

ANN: While you were around.

RHODA: The meals? Nutritious boredom. The others, the poor ones, the

dribblers, the ones with the bibs that get fed like babies, they get

everything cut up fine and liquidy. Luckily I still get the food to my

own mouth with my own hands with my own knife and fork. Sometimes poor

ones leave the dining room hungry because no one is able to take the

time to help them.

The silverware here is crude. That’s a laugh. It’s not silver. I

remember how Frank and I chose our flatware pattern after much

discussion and deliberation. We used for dinner parties.

But count your blessings. The poor ones sit in wheelchairs all day long.

The poorest of the poor are strapped in and call all day but who comes

and whether they come depends on factors beyond their calling. One of my

roommates sat in urine for hours because she didn't know how to call for

help.

Some of the other poor ones get wheeled into the "recreation" room and

sit all day before a TV set they don't see and don't understand. I used

to watch sometimes but not anymore. Everything in the tube is so remote

it has become meaningless. A world to which we residents of Living Manor

no longer belong, no longer understand.

Sam Holden died this morning. Sam never talked to the poor ones. He

didn't even talk to me.

Sometimes he'd yell at the aides as if he were the boss and they were

workers under him. I heard the aides say he had been rich and important

until they moved him in here. I asked about him but it's a funny thing.

It's not funny. It's a big part of the desolation of being a resident

here, a patient, a thing to be dressed and repositioned and check your

vitals, deary, says a cheery voice in the morning. They talk the same

way to everyone. Everyone is deary or honey.

Or suddenly someone you never saw before, someone a half century -- or

more -- younger, is calling you by your first name. That's part of new

ways, I guess. Maybe it isn't meant to be disrespectful. It's all first

names. "Hello, Rhoda, I'm Joan."

But one day the big one came in, the one with skinny heels and jewelry

and a spotless suit, the one who shook hands but you knew she'd wash

hers first chance she got afterward. The big boss. They don't call her

Mary. She doesn't say "Hello, Rhoda, I'm Mary." She just says, "Hello

Rhoda, how are you today? Is everything all right? You're looking very

nice today." Then she's off to the next one. I don't think she can tell

the difference. Maybe she doesn't want to tell the difference. Maybe

there is no difference to her. That's what I wanted to say. Even if

you're not a poor, screaming, clothes-removing one, even if you know

where you are and who you are, at least who you were, you can't hold a

conversation. They breeze through, the big ones with the skinny heels.

Like a person running for public office. Big smile, but you know you're

nothing. If you talk, they get glaze over. You learn to say, "Fine,

thank you." You learn to play the role of a poor one even if really,

secretly, you're not. Not yet.

I think Sam was afraid of sinking to our depths. I think he preferred to

die. Usually you don't see these things, but I caught a glimpse as they

wheeled him out on a stretcher all covered. Two hours later, Joe moved

into Sam's room. It was as if there had never been a Sam. I had also

seen him the day he came. Three sons in expensive business suits. "So

long, dad." I never saw them again.

But getting back to how you can't talk with them. Getting back to the

pyramid. The big one is at the top and under her are the ones in the

offices and the RNs. Under that come people with special jobs like

housekeeping and kitchen. Then the nurse’s aides who do all the tending,

the feeding and bathing and changing and bringing water and lifting

people twice their size into the chair, and wheeling us to activity or

to the dining room. Some of us residents like me who don't give them any

trouble come next. At the bottom are the poor ones.

ELLA: (who had been quiet up to now begins to sing to the tune of "I

Remember You") I remember Sam. he liked green eggs and ham oh yes he

did, that pig, that pigetty, pigetty pig. I loved him so. (she stops

abruptly and drops her head to her chest as if sleeping)

RHODA: At first I kept track of days. I thought I would be leaving.

You can't believe that this is it. That takes a long time to dawn. It's

when I go home. Then, later, it's if I go home. Then one day . . . .

ANN: I thought grandma was a great reader. Didn't she have any books?

Wouldn't that have helped?

MARY: She was. At first she did read. Uncle Bill used to send books

from New York. Then one day I came in and found all her books packed in

a box. She asked me to take them away. She couldn't read anymore.

Cataracts. She had tried but it had got harder and harder and she just

wasn't up to it anymore. There was no point in having them take up

space. For a while she wrote letters.

ANN: What about tape recordings? Couldn't she have listened to books?

MARY: Uncle Bill sent Shakespeare and some music tapes. But her

roommate at that time was a TV addict and the tape recorder couldn't

compete.

RHODA: They feel like they're doing a really good thing for us when

they bring dogs and cats in for us to stroke. What would be better is if

they'd leave the animals here so we could really get friendly. I

remember my sweet cat, Bertha. Bertha would sleep next to me on the

chaise in the patio where we would be surrounded by plants and the

sounds of birds. Neither of us moved for the longest time. Peace.

Here it's not peace. There is always sound. Poor ones wailing down the

hall, muffled TVs, the clattering of medication trays, or laughter late

at night from the nurse's station. The only sound you seldom here is

that of residents talking to one another.

ANN: I remember Bertha. We gave her away.

MARY: To the ASPA.

ANN: Oh Mom!

MARY: She lost control. The house began to smell. There was nothing

else to do.

ANN: Did you tell her?

MARY: We said Bertha got sick.

RHODA: Can't wait for lunch. Every day I eat food I never ate in life.

I'm getting smaller. "Rhoda, we got to put some fat on you. You're

getting thin as a bone."

Give me something that tastes good and I’ll eat it.

ANN: Grandma was comical, told funny stories. I didn't realize until

later that she had made them up.

MARY: Remember that book she wrote "to cheer herself up," she said,

after grandpa died? Nursery schools are still buying it. A check came

last week.

ANN: Candy Dandy, Dandy Annie and the Buttressed and Benighted Blue

Beastie! My four-year-olds used to adore it. Oh, Mom, (weeping) Grandma

was my idol. She was special.

MARY: She loved you.

ANN: Then why didn't I come to see her? Why didn't I know what was

happening to her?

MARY: Darling, you were away. You were busy. You lived in another

city. You were having trouble with your relationship with Harry. We

don't always realize what's important at the time it happens. I didn't.

RHODA: Before, when I was me, I'd watch TV for occasional distraction.

I thought the talk shows were interesting sometimes, but it was PBS I

really liked.

MARY: One year she spent a lot of time out of her room. The next year

she had Lillian.

ANN: I remember Lillian. She had also been a teacher. What happened?

You never told me. I once asked grandma and she started to cry so I

didn't pursue it.

MARY: It's just as well you didn't.

ANN: What happened?

MARY: They were talking one night from their beds. Lillian suddenly

stopped. She had died in the middle their conversation.

ANN: Oh my God! Did grandma know?

MARY: Not at first. I think she must have gone on talking for a while

and then she thought Lillian had gotten annoyed with her and that was

why she stopped talking. It may have been hours before someone came in

with breakfast. Apparently Mother was quite upset. They gave her some

sort of tranquilizer and called me to come in. I don't know what really

happened. All I know is what they told me. I never discussed it with

Uncle Bill or anyone. It was just too terrible. Maybe that was what

Mother never got over. There was a change in her. From their dates I'd

say these notes were written after Lillian.

ANN: Tragic, Mom. Oh, Mom, tragic.

MARY: Yes. Is that all she wrote?

ELLA: When you have to go the bathroom . . . .

ANN: There's just a little more.

RHODA: They didn't come again today. I remember. Out there are many

distractions, many calls on time, much to do and much to think of. Not

like here. What is today? One day blends into the next. Dates mean

nothing anymore. There's nothing to do, no one to care for. Some of the

women clutch dolls. I understand that. I would like to have one but I

don't dare ask. They wouldn't understand. My reputation around here is

bad enough. They get back at you when you need to go to the bathroom.

Jenny cried when Miriam stole her doll. They didn't understand that,

either. One did. But she's gone.

AIDE: (entering suddenly) I hate to rush you, but we really need this

room.

ANN: It's okay. We're finished. Aren't we, Mom?

MARY: Yes. We're all though here. They can have the room. Goodbye,

Mrs. Williams.

ANN: Goodbye, Mrs. Williams. (Mary and Ann leave carrying the

suitcases)

ELLA: (the spotlight turns to Ella who speaks almost inaudibly as the

door closes behind Ann and Mary) Don't go. Don't leave me here. (the

lights dim and the curtain falls).

The end.

Copyright © 1995 Dorothy Tennov All Rights Reserved

 

REGARDING "RHODA HALSEY AT HOME"

"Rhoda Halsey at Home" was written to stimulate thought and discussion.

Please read it. Use it in classes, perform it for relevant audiences,

and, above all, contemplate the social, political, and economic issues

it raises through its portrayal of experience of a mentally and socially

competent person in a long time medical facility. I read the first draft

at the bedside of a hospitalized patient. Rhoda spoke for the world his

illness had forced him to inhabit.

"Rhoda Halsey at Home" was inspired by an article in Time Magazine in

which the voice of a nursing home resident very like Rhoda in many ways

—- physically disabled, alone in her mental competence —- was

transmitted through her son. The play, directed by Ferdi Perrone of the

Second Street Players of Milton, Delaware, was performed several times

in 1995 for audiences of nursing students, hospital and nursing home

personnel, and members of the community. The production was cited as an

"outstanding new work" at the Delaware Theater Association’s 53rd annual

State Play Festival. Jean Savoy, who played Rhoda, was cited for her

"outstanding performance in a featured role."

The implications are hard to take. It is more comfortable to ignore them

until the ability to speak we may once have had is gone . The experience

of the mentally incapable, the "poor ones," as Rhoda called them, those

who seem to exist only from moment to moment and whose complaints were

inchoate, may consist only as scattered images of the larger context of

their lives. It doesn’t mean they do not feel the coolness of the bath

water or the coldness of the touch.

Dorothy Tennov 990912